Heya! So, I've finally finished The Wayfinders by Wade Davis and the review is written. It's in the process of being edited by my wonderful friend Vyxen and once that's done and posted on the Books & Co website I'll post it here too. :)
Wonderful news! Devon Monk's book, Magic in Shadows, is in my grubby little hands! Well, not literally, at least not yet, but tomorrow! I have seen the future and it is at Books & Co!
The next series of books to be reviewed will be the Greywalker series by Kat Richardson.
Stay tuned....
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
In Progress
I'm in the middle of reading The Wayfinders by Wade Davis. So far it's pretty good. The book is a 5 part CBC Massey lecture series on cultural anthropology and it's written from a scientific background. So far, so good. The author has very poetic phrasings and makes the lecture interesting to read and you feel like you're almost there. Since I've never been much of a history buff, I find it easy to read and follow along. And it makes me want to keep reading!
I'll let you know more when I finish. :)
I'll let you know more when I finish. :)
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Magic to the Bone: Chs 13-17 (end)
Wow. I just finished the book and felt the need to write while it was still fresh in my mind. And I'm not going to give away the ending!!
Cody was captured and is with the Snake man again.
Allie had been shot and was overloading with magic, healing herself like she had healed Cody. Zayvion took off and she left his apartment in the search for Mama. When she found Mama, she found Snake man, Cody, and Bonnie. She also found Zayvion.
What happened next? You'll have to read the book or ask a friend.
I will say that the ending of this book was really strong. It smacked of betrayal, loss and, finally, hope. I was initially surprised, thinking that the author was going to use Allie's wish to turn back time, which I thought was a coward's way out. And then I thought that Allie was going to go on her merry little way not knowing what was happening. I'm pleased that Allie was strong enough to go on her instincts where Zayvion was concerned. She may end up hurt again (it is a book series after all!) and she knows that he is lying about something, even if she doesn't remember what. I'm a romantic at heart, so the scene in the coffee shop in the end nearly made me cry.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book. I like strong female characters with attitudes, and I don't think Devon Monk overdid it; Allie definitely knew when to keep her mouth shut. When Allie gained her burns/tattoos/markings, I was worried that she was going to become this invincible magician of sorts who no longer had to pay for her magic use. It's a pet peeve of mine when a fallible character gains Superman-like abilities over the course of a book or series.
I really like how the author worked the magic angle in this series - about how when you use magic, it uses you right back - it has a karma ring to it. Human nature has decreed that when given an ability with consequences, we immediately look for loopholes, and Devon Monk has stuck to this motto: Allie made a point of saying that one of the first things people discovered was how to unload the curse on someone else so they didn't have to suffer any consequences themselves.
I definitely look forward to reading the next book in the series, "Magic in the Blood", and to having the next book, "Magic in Shadows" come out in November 2009. That is definitely on my to-buy list!
Unfortunately, I have a different book to review first, and a buddy lent me a 3 book series, so it may be a while before I'm able to return to this series.
Fun fact: Devon Monk is a die-hard knitter and gives away her knitting as prizes to her fans on her website.
Cody was captured and is with the Snake man again.
Allie had been shot and was overloading with magic, healing herself like she had healed Cody. Zayvion took off and she left his apartment in the search for Mama. When she found Mama, she found Snake man, Cody, and Bonnie. She also found Zayvion.
What happened next? You'll have to read the book or ask a friend.
I will say that the ending of this book was really strong. It smacked of betrayal, loss and, finally, hope. I was initially surprised, thinking that the author was going to use Allie's wish to turn back time, which I thought was a coward's way out. And then I thought that Allie was going to go on her merry little way not knowing what was happening. I'm pleased that Allie was strong enough to go on her instincts where Zayvion was concerned. She may end up hurt again (it is a book series after all!) and she knows that he is lying about something, even if she doesn't remember what. I'm a romantic at heart, so the scene in the coffee shop in the end nearly made me cry.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book. I like strong female characters with attitudes, and I don't think Devon Monk overdid it; Allie definitely knew when to keep her mouth shut. When Allie gained her burns/tattoos/markings, I was worried that she was going to become this invincible magician of sorts who no longer had to pay for her magic use. It's a pet peeve of mine when a fallible character gains Superman-like abilities over the course of a book or series.
I really like how the author worked the magic angle in this series - about how when you use magic, it uses you right back - it has a karma ring to it. Human nature has decreed that when given an ability with consequences, we immediately look for loopholes, and Devon Monk has stuck to this motto: Allie made a point of saying that one of the first things people discovered was how to unload the curse on someone else so they didn't have to suffer any consequences themselves.
I definitely look forward to reading the next book in the series, "Magic in the Blood", and to having the next book, "Magic in Shadows" come out in November 2009. That is definitely on my to-buy list!
Unfortunately, I have a different book to review first, and a buddy lent me a 3 book series, so it may be a while before I'm able to return to this series.
Fun fact: Devon Monk is a die-hard knitter and gives away her knitting as prizes to her fans on her website.
Magic to the Bone: Chs 6-12
Hmm. I don't think I like doing it a few chapters at a time. I think I go too far in depth with the story and it becomes a really long summary. Plus, if I'm covering books I've already read before, I don't want to do a few chapters when I already know what's going to happen later. Originally I had thought it would be a good idea if I want to make predictions about twists the story may take, but I think if I'm making long updates, everyone might as well just read the story themselves, lol!
To the story:
Allie's dad was found murdered and she's the main suspect. When running from a fellow (bitchy) Hound, Allie takes a detour along the river and garbage dump to lose her scent trail and stumbles across Cody's near-dead self. She somehow heals him and gains some nifty burns in the process. She takes him along and Zayvion magically shows up to help her out. The 3 of them (4 if you include Kitten) go to Nola's farm in Burns. While there, you find out that Cody either made Allie kill her father or forged her signature. Regardless, he was there, but before Allie can find out what he knows, Bonnie (the bitchy Hound - hah!) shows up and vanishes with Cody in thin air.
Knowing this to be impossible, Allie and Zayvion go back to Portland to talk to Allie's stepmom, Violet, who is a scientist and seemed to genuinely care for Allie's dad. Violet discusses her research regarding a portable power source and it seems plausible that Bonnie somehow acquired this technology during a supposed fire in the lab.
Allie and Zayvion go back to his place and have amazing sex and he admits to being in a secret magical society - an Authority on Magic. He also tells Allie that her burns-turned-tattoos have negative and positive ends (like a battery, but cooler) where she receives and dispenses her magic. They also discover that they are Soul Complements - their magic is complimentary and the flow of magic between them causes minimal backlash.
The next morning, Allie gets shot by an intruder and releases an uncontrolled flow of magic towards him. Then blacks out.
To the story:
Allie's dad was found murdered and she's the main suspect. When running from a fellow (bitchy) Hound, Allie takes a detour along the river and garbage dump to lose her scent trail and stumbles across Cody's near-dead self. She somehow heals him and gains some nifty burns in the process. She takes him along and Zayvion magically shows up to help her out. The 3 of them (4 if you include Kitten) go to Nola's farm in Burns. While there, you find out that Cody either made Allie kill her father or forged her signature. Regardless, he was there, but before Allie can find out what he knows, Bonnie (the bitchy Hound - hah!) shows up and vanishes with Cody in thin air.
Knowing this to be impossible, Allie and Zayvion go back to Portland to talk to Allie's stepmom, Violet, who is a scientist and seemed to genuinely care for Allie's dad. Violet discusses her research regarding a portable power source and it seems plausible that Bonnie somehow acquired this technology during a supposed fire in the lab.
Allie and Zayvion go back to his place and have amazing sex and he admits to being in a secret magical society - an Authority on Magic. He also tells Allie that her burns-turned-tattoos have negative and positive ends (like a battery, but cooler) where she receives and dispenses her magic. They also discover that they are Soul Complements - their magic is complimentary and the flow of magic between them causes minimal backlash.
The next morning, Allie gets shot by an intruder and releases an uncontrolled flow of magic towards him. Then blacks out.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Ariel: To Capture a Unicorn
I had this amazing idea to do a research essay-esque thing on unicorns and to talk about how Pete and Ariel has this weird relationship that was hampered by the fact they were different species. I also wanted to discuss how Pete couldn't have a normal relationship with a woman without losing Ariel. Then I started to read up on unicorns and I wanted to talk about the religious parallels and how sex caused the downfall of the unicorns. And maybe even talk about the irony of how unicorns are anti-sex and must reproduce asexually since sexual reproduction would be hypocritical.
And then I realized that this was my blog and I could write as much or as little as I wanted! And I decided that I wanted to do a short blurb on how the technique to capture a unicorn in the legends was reflected in this story!
But first, for those not familiar with my own personal obsession, a little background on unicorns:
Unicorns are mythical, horse-like creatures with a single horn (alicorn) in the middle of their forehead. Accounts of unicorn sightings have been found throughout the world and are even mentioned in the bible. While size, shape, colour and even hoof shape (cloven or solid?) have varied, the magical properties of the alicorn have remained constant. The alicorn is said to purify stagnant waters and to act as an antidote against poison, thus making it a staple for paranoid royalty. They have long been associated with the moon; they are silver in colour, have an affinity for water and are even paired with the Greek and Roman moon goddesses (Artemis and Diana, respectively), who are virgin goddesses. Unicorns are also known for their speed and ferocity (they hate elephants) but have a weakness for virgins (Allan, 2008; Matthews & Matthews, 2005).
Popular legend states that to capture a unicorn, one must have a virgin maid waiting in the unicorn's path. The beast will then lay his head on her lap and fall asleep, enabling hunters to capture and kill him (Allan, 2008; Matthews & Matthews, 2005).
In Ariel, the hunter was the necromancer who summoned her from the faery realm hoping to harvest her alicorn. Despite her initial escape and her year long jaunt with Pete, when the necromancer heard she was still alive, he sent the griffen rider to bring her back. When that didn't work, he tried to play the two against each other, offering first the life of Pete if her horn was offered willingly; and secondly, offering to find a way for Ariel to survive the loss of her horn is she cooperated.
The charming and irresistable virgin role was played by Pete, and while Ariel never fell asleep with her head on his lap, she did surrender her freedom for his by creating a distraction. Her self-sacrifice was noble, nearly costing her life, and subsequently, her horn. Luckily, Pete and their rag-tag group of freedom fighters saved the day and killed the bad guys. At this point, Ariel runs off.
And finally, the demise of the virgin's unicorn. Pete may have saved her life, but when he accepted Shaughnassy as a lover his unicorn became dead to him. The next morning when Ariel found them, he was unable to touch her as he was no longer pure.
It is possible that Ariel foresaw this future and purposefully stayed away until they consummated their relationship, making it impossible for Pete and Ariel to be together. Had Ariel wanted to, she would have been able to find them before that happened. It could be that the final scene in the woods was a goodbye. It could be symbolism for the Fall of Man.
What do you think happened?
Books used for background information:
Allan, Tony. 2008. The Mythic Bestiary: The Illustrated Guide to the World's Most Fantastical Creatures.
Matthews, John & Matthews, Caitlin. 2005. The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures: The Ultimate A-Z of Fantastic Beings from Myth and Magic.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Magic to the Bone: Chs 1-5
I'm going to try something new for this book. I'm going to update while reading it, a few chapters at a time (chapters read will be in the title line), just to see which I prefer and which is preferable for those reading the blog.
Now on to the book!
In this book, the story is set in Portland, but with magic added. There are magic wells below the Earth's surface which can be tapped in to for use. It is also possible to capture the magical energy (30 years ago they used rods akin to lightening rods, courtesy of Beckstrom of course!) but if stored improperly, it can rot. There are lines running underground throughout the city to supply the residents with magic. Unfortunately, using magic has a negative side effect which manifests itself in a physical way: anything from a headache to full body bruising.
Allie is the strong-willed heroine who disowned her rich daddy and his money. Now she's trying to make her way in the world as a Hound - a magical detective (?) who uses her sense of smell and taste to discover who cast which illegal spell. Since every magic user has a unique signature, a Hound can follow the signature back to the caster. Allie is an idealist with a soft heart, as evidenced in the fact that she stopped speaking to her father because of his immoral magical use; and even though she's perpetually broke, she will still do free jobs for those worse off than herself.
Zayvion is the token love interest, even though he admitted to following Allie for her father (and then promptly quit). So far he seems like a good guy; he even footed the bill for Allie to catch a cab ride home. We'll have to see if he stays in my good books.
Allie's father is a manipulative bastard who thinks he can buy off everyone and anything. Since he's incredibly rich, he can get away with it. However, one of his talents is Influence - literally brainwashing others to do your will. Allie lived under her father's Influence for several years before breaking free and running away from him. Allie also has this talent, but is disgusted by it and seldom uses it.
Allie has a client that she calls friend, a woman by the name of Mama. One of Mama's foster sons, Boy (they're all called Boy), is a young child who is seriously ill. When Allie comes to investigate, she discovers that Boy has been cursed with an Offload spell. This spell will cause the victim to have all the physical manifestations meant for the caster and is highly illegal. When Allie Hounds for the spell, she discovers that the magical signature belongs to her father. Along with Zayvion, she goes to confront her father, whom she hasn't seen for seven years. He uses a Truth spell and denies the accusation but Allie isn't convinced.
Skip off to a side story about a mentally damaged man named Cody. Only the presence of Cody's "smarter" self leads the reader to believe that he's a man and not a small child. Forbidden to use magic, Cody lives in a prison, cut off from his friends and the sunshine. When the Snake man comes along with a bargain - a spell to save Kitten's life - you realize that Cody is able to mimic another caster's unique signature. And the fact that Cody forged one to mimic Allie's dad. To save Kitten, Cody has to forge a signature to match Allie's. While using magic, Cody seems to return to himself and remember who he is and what he is capable of. Once removed from the magic source, Cody is then cut and a bone is placed in his wound. Cody's smarter self warns him that this is death magic. The Snake man then leaves Cody alone with a promise to return later and take him for a car ride.
Back to Allie: surprise, surprise, Allie's magic usage has caused her to crash at Mama's, but not without first making out with Zayvion.
Return to Cody: the Snake man returns and casts a spell on Cody using a bone chunk and a coin. "The coin filled the Snake man's words with power, the bone changed it into something worse. Into death." Cody's smarter self warns him that to live, he must reach for the smarter self and hold on tight. His subconscious then takes over while Cody is sucked into a dark place.
Now on to the book!
In this book, the story is set in Portland, but with magic added. There are magic wells below the Earth's surface which can be tapped in to for use. It is also possible to capture the magical energy (30 years ago they used rods akin to lightening rods, courtesy of Beckstrom of course!) but if stored improperly, it can rot. There are lines running underground throughout the city to supply the residents with magic. Unfortunately, using magic has a negative side effect which manifests itself in a physical way: anything from a headache to full body bruising.
Allie is the strong-willed heroine who disowned her rich daddy and his money. Now she's trying to make her way in the world as a Hound - a magical detective (?) who uses her sense of smell and taste to discover who cast which illegal spell. Since every magic user has a unique signature, a Hound can follow the signature back to the caster. Allie is an idealist with a soft heart, as evidenced in the fact that she stopped speaking to her father because of his immoral magical use; and even though she's perpetually broke, she will still do free jobs for those worse off than herself.
Zayvion is the token love interest, even though he admitted to following Allie for her father (and then promptly quit). So far he seems like a good guy; he even footed the bill for Allie to catch a cab ride home. We'll have to see if he stays in my good books.
Allie's father is a manipulative bastard who thinks he can buy off everyone and anything. Since he's incredibly rich, he can get away with it. However, one of his talents is Influence - literally brainwashing others to do your will. Allie lived under her father's Influence for several years before breaking free and running away from him. Allie also has this talent, but is disgusted by it and seldom uses it.
Allie has a client that she calls friend, a woman by the name of Mama. One of Mama's foster sons, Boy (they're all called Boy), is a young child who is seriously ill. When Allie comes to investigate, she discovers that Boy has been cursed with an Offload spell. This spell will cause the victim to have all the physical manifestations meant for the caster and is highly illegal. When Allie Hounds for the spell, she discovers that the magical signature belongs to her father. Along with Zayvion, she goes to confront her father, whom she hasn't seen for seven years. He uses a Truth spell and denies the accusation but Allie isn't convinced.
Skip off to a side story about a mentally damaged man named Cody. Only the presence of Cody's "smarter" self leads the reader to believe that he's a man and not a small child. Forbidden to use magic, Cody lives in a prison, cut off from his friends and the sunshine. When the Snake man comes along with a bargain - a spell to save Kitten's life - you realize that Cody is able to mimic another caster's unique signature. And the fact that Cody forged one to mimic Allie's dad. To save Kitten, Cody has to forge a signature to match Allie's. While using magic, Cody seems to return to himself and remember who he is and what he is capable of. Once removed from the magic source, Cody is then cut and a bone is placed in his wound. Cody's smarter self warns him that this is death magic. The Snake man then leaves Cody alone with a promise to return later and take him for a car ride.
Back to Allie: surprise, surprise, Allie's magic usage has caused her to crash at Mama's, but not without first making out with Zayvion.
Return to Cody: the Snake man returns and casts a spell on Cody using a bone chunk and a coin. "The coin filled the Snake man's words with power, the bone changed it into something worse. Into death." Cody's smarter self warns him that to live, he must reach for the smarter self and hold on tight. His subconscious then takes over while Cody is sucked into a dark place.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Magic to the Bone
Author: Devon Monk, 2008Back cover:
"Using magic meant it used you back. Forget the fairy tale hocus-pocus, wave a wand and bling-o sparkles and pixie dust crap.Magic, like booze, sex, and drugs, gave as good as it got."
Everything has a cost. And every act of magic exacts a price from its user--maybe a two-day migraine, or losing the memory of your first kiss. But some people want to use magic without paying, and they offload the cost onto an innocent. When that happens, it falls to a Hound to identify the spell's caster--and Allison Beckstrom's the best there is.
Daughter of a prominent Portland businessman, Allie would rather moonlight as a Hound than accept the family fortune--and the many strings that come with it. But when she discovers a little boy dying from a magical offload that has her father's signature all over it, Allie is thrown back into the high-stakes world of corporate espionage and black magic.
Now, Allie's out for the truth--and the forces she finds herself calling on will overturn everything she knows, change her in ways she could never imagine...and make her capable of things that powerful people will do anything to control.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I think....
...that I may update as I'm reading a story. Often I'm too busy to finish a story in one or two nights and I end up forgetting my thoughts on what I'm reading. Or where that fantastic quote was that I didn't mark down. And! I may do some research while I'm reading. Look into the background on the book or what they're talking about (in the case of Ariel, do some background on mythological creatures???).
I guess I'll see as I do this.
I guess I'll see as I do this.
Ariel
"Ariel" by Steven R. Boyett
Web: http://www.steveboy.com/
**** CONTAINS SPOILERS ****
Summary:
"Ariel" takes place in a post-apocalyptic time where technology no longer exists. At 4:30 pm, five years ago, the power went out and made way for magic.
Peter Garey is a loner looking out for himself when he stumbles across a small, injured unicorn. After fixing her up, he names her Ariel (after a painting of a unicorn in the public library) and they become friends. One year later, Ariel is healed and helping him out of jams.
Unfortunately, in Atlanta they meet up with more trouble than they can handle. As such, one of their new friends, Russ, introduces them to Malachi Lee, a samurai who understands the supernatural. After a stand-off at Malachi's house that leaves a swarm of dead bodies, Malachi heads to New York to confront a necromancer in hopes that this will save Ariel's life.
After Malachi insists they head in the opposite direction, Pete and Ariel follow Malachi to New York. Along they way, they meet George (a young man whose father has insisted that he slay a dragon as a rite of passage to manhood - they succeed and he goes home), as well as Shaughnassy, a young woman who has dreamed of magic but ironically cannot touch it as she is "impure" (read: not a virgin).
Once in New York, Ariel is captured and Pete has to fight his way out of the Empire State Building in order to find help to free her. He meets up again with Shaughnassy (who escaped when Pete and Ariel were captured), Malachi and a community of freedom fighters. They come up with a scheme to storm the Empire State Building, kill the necromancer (and for Pete, free Ariel) and live happily ever after. Their plan succeeds.
Ariel runs off after being freed, and Pete follows her obsessively, with Shaughnassy keeping him company. In a moment of weakness and need, Pete finally succumbs and they have sex, thus preventing him from ever having contact with Ariel ever again.
*****
As a story, I really liked it. As a post-apocalytic novel written in the past, there are a lot of references to shows/times/places that I was able to catch. Were I even older, I would have understood more of it. Pity.
However, the reason behind the Change was never explored and my curiousity on this subject has not been satisfied. I did love Ariel's description of the physics behind a dragon's fire; about how the supernatural have to obey the natural laws of physics.
The ending, while it didn't end happily ever after, had to happen the way it did. I think the only way that the story could have ended with both Pete and Ariel being together would have been if one of them changed forms (ie: Ariel became human). Loyalty to Ariel prevented Pete from ever having a relationship with a woman, so Shaughnassy was, unfortunately, the person selected to play this role. (However, it was nice to read a story where the guy didn't sleep with every woman who threw herself at him).
Web: http://www.steveboy.com/
**** CONTAINS SPOILERS ****
Summary:
"Ariel" takes place in a post-apocalyptic time where technology no longer exists. At 4:30 pm, five years ago, the power went out and made way for magic.
Peter Garey is a loner looking out for himself when he stumbles across a small, injured unicorn. After fixing her up, he names her Ariel (after a painting of a unicorn in the public library) and they become friends. One year later, Ariel is healed and helping him out of jams.
Unfortunately, in Atlanta they meet up with more trouble than they can handle. As such, one of their new friends, Russ, introduces them to Malachi Lee, a samurai who understands the supernatural. After a stand-off at Malachi's house that leaves a swarm of dead bodies, Malachi heads to New York to confront a necromancer in hopes that this will save Ariel's life.
After Malachi insists they head in the opposite direction, Pete and Ariel follow Malachi to New York. Along they way, they meet George (a young man whose father has insisted that he slay a dragon as a rite of passage to manhood - they succeed and he goes home), as well as Shaughnassy, a young woman who has dreamed of magic but ironically cannot touch it as she is "impure" (read: not a virgin).
Once in New York, Ariel is captured and Pete has to fight his way out of the Empire State Building in order to find help to free her. He meets up again with Shaughnassy (who escaped when Pete and Ariel were captured), Malachi and a community of freedom fighters. They come up with a scheme to storm the Empire State Building, kill the necromancer (and for Pete, free Ariel) and live happily ever after. Their plan succeeds.
Ariel runs off after being freed, and Pete follows her obsessively, with Shaughnassy keeping him company. In a moment of weakness and need, Pete finally succumbs and they have sex, thus preventing him from ever having contact with Ariel ever again.
*****
As a story, I really liked it. As a post-apocalytic novel written in the past, there are a lot of references to shows/times/places that I was able to catch. Were I even older, I would have understood more of it. Pity.
However, the reason behind the Change was never explored and my curiousity on this subject has not been satisfied. I did love Ariel's description of the physics behind a dragon's fire; about how the supernatural have to obey the natural laws of physics.
The ending, while it didn't end happily ever after, had to happen the way it did. I think the only way that the story could have ended with both Pete and Ariel being together would have been if one of them changed forms (ie: Ariel became human). Loyalty to Ariel prevented Pete from ever having a relationship with a woman, so Shaughnassy was, unfortunately, the person selected to play this role. (However, it was nice to read a story where the guy didn't sleep with every woman who threw herself at him).
Saturday, October 3, 2009
New!
This is my third attempt at writing a blog. I don't like writing about things that I've been doing, mainly because I'm a really REALLY boring person, but also because I get distracted easily when I do have exciting news. And, let's face it, if you know me, chances are that I'll tell you in person, right?
Therefore, I've come up with this BRILLIANT notion that I should write about the books that I've been reading! Why? Because I love reading books. Which is part of the reason why my life is so dull. I also love talking about the books that I've been reading. Or books that I would like to read. So, I figure that for every book I read, I'll do a little write up on it. Like a book review, only with my commentary about why I liked (or, heaven forbid, did NOT like) the story, characters, etc.
This way, I should be updating more frequently, and hopefully it'll be more entertaining than my own life.
Therefore, I've come up with this BRILLIANT notion that I should write about the books that I've been reading! Why? Because I love reading books. Which is part of the reason why my life is so dull. I also love talking about the books that I've been reading. Or books that I would like to read. So, I figure that for every book I read, I'll do a little write up on it. Like a book review, only with my commentary about why I liked (or, heaven forbid, did NOT like) the story, characters, etc.
This way, I should be updating more frequently, and hopefully it'll be more entertaining than my own life.
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